When everything fails you always have someone there ...

Everything is going great i get to finally see my family in a different province . I miss my boyfriend like crazy i'm so use to talking to him so it is different . I have been misssing his texts because i'm always sleeping . I'm so scared everything is not okay but don't want to think like that because i don't want it to happen but if i think posictive what happens if everything isn't ok. Guess it is something i neeed to work on with myself not over thinking anything that goes through my head.
Oh well i know the lord is with me but sometimes it's nice to know

Okay so today must be my day ..

Well cant believe it i was just having a great day because i helped a friend out with boy troubles and later on that day my boyfriend got a cell to text me on and might be able to see him sooner i say today has been at pretty good day :) Parents gone to look at an SUV we might get tomorrow man lets hope my luck is up for the next month
God please keep this going
Thank everyone who actually reads this

Always have to think positive right..

Waking up every morning i'm so use  to okay now im going to text him and nice message or ill get one from him :) it Always puts a smile on my face maybe it's my motivation to get up and do stuff. Maybe knowing the next time i see him is my motivation for the week . Or even knowing will be skyping or talking on the phone is the other thing that makes me excited. Day 2 with no communication and i think everything will be fine he said trust his word and i do . Is it so bad to think if worse comes to worse i really don't like to because i don't want it to happen and shouldn't . There are so many things in my life going on with my parents being sick and i don't know if i'm depressed or not . With my boyfriend a lot of that stuff is pushed aside as he always tries to make me feel better. The one thing is he is a corny person but it's stuff that makes me laugh even though i hold back and act like it's not funny it is. He is the guy who will go out of his way to make you feel good even when he isn't okay and he needs someone to lean on . I haven't exactly been that person like i was at the beginning of the relationship . I realized it a few days ago and since then i have been trying to think of ways to be there like i was before and finally realized at the beginning all i did was when he needed someone i listened i didn't get into it i let him vent and only if i knew i had something i could try and help with i say it . Now lately i haven't. See we don't really fight like normal people would. I don't think we would fight if my jealously didn't take the best of me. He always reminds me why he is with me and he wouldn't say the things he did if he didn't mean it which brings me back to not worrying because when he gets back he will still be with me. He asked me what he was doing wrong the other day and honestly i couldn't think of one thing wrong besides when he lied to protect me but we solved that and since he hasn't done a thing ill take little or even the tiniest thing and make it a bad thing because i'm scared. Yes i have went through a lot which people my age shouldn't have to go through but that shouldn't always be my excuse. The last night i had with him showed me a lot and how much i could trust him and how much he means what he says . Of course i am not going to blog those things but they truly ment the world to me and i should of said it to him that night but now it's kinda late. I will have to wait until i can see him. But to be honest after i post on this blog i always seem to have a smile knowing i said this to someone even if it isn't anyone i know so it's not bottled in side me. 
Really can't wait to see him . and if anyone has read yesterdays blog about the issue i have and have some advice it would help a lot thanks ! 
Sorry for rambling on

-the one who cares

Here it goes

So yesterday was the last day with my boyfriend for awhile . We planned a camping trip and everything worked out until he had to tell his parents the truth . His mom is so hard to talk to he has to lie. Now she let him stayed but he has no communication with me for 6 weeks. I love him and miss him already . He says nothing to worry about everything will be the same when he gets back and i believe him . I always get scared about loosing him but what girl doesn't. Find someone yeah you may not marry lol but have a great relationship and want to keep it going. It's scary . When we are aloud to see each other i'm scared to see his mom . She doesn't seem to like anyone she is a great person who means well but she is a hard headed person. Idk what to do i want her to know i am a good person to like i mean i want to be able to do something to show or talk to her idk . How do i do this . I want to fix this up with her. My heart sinks all the time around her because it''s like she trys to give me every reason to hate myself more. Or when my boyfriend tells me what she says it hurts. Of course i will never let her ruin this I want to make it right. Maybe i sound stupid but i have a lot to loose if i don't .
So sad right now i can make it without seeing  him but it bothers me i dn't know how to make his mom see even thought my boyfriend thinks his mom will never change i want to try to feel better..

First time for everything

heey everyone who decides to read the posts i make,
Well I guess this is just something i have decided to do so instead of making facebook statuses about how i feel or what i'm doing or when i need to vent i can blog it. So much going on in my life that maybe sometimes you want others to read and put there opinion before the people you know. No one can judge you. Well Guess it's more for me to feel better then anything and its a start. I hate writing in journals but love to draw so my feelings have to be let out somewhere and  computer is what i'm always on
So here it goes hope you have some comments for my posts to help or to make my blogging better thanks!