Waking up every morning i'm so use to okay now im going to text him and nice message or ill get one from him :) it Always puts a smile on my face maybe it's my motivation to get up and do stuff. Maybe knowing the next time i see him is my motivation for the week . Or even knowing will be skyping or talking on the phone is the other thing that makes me excited. Day 2 with no communication and i think everything will be fine he said trust his word and i do . Is it so bad to think if worse comes to worse i really don't like to because i don't want it to happen and shouldn't . There are so many things in my life going on with my parents being sick and i don't know if i'm depressed or not . With my boyfriend a lot of that stuff is pushed aside as he always tries to make me feel better. The one thing is he is a corny person but it's stuff that makes me laugh even though i hold back and act like it's not funny it is. He is the guy who will go out of his way to make you feel good even when he isn't okay and he needs someone to lean on . I haven't exactly been that person like i was at the beginning of the relationship . I realized it a few days ago and since then i have been trying to think of ways to be there like i was before and finally realized at the beginning all i did was when he needed someone i listened i didn't get into it i let him vent and only if i knew i had something i could try and help with i say it . Now lately i haven't. See we don't really fight like normal people would. I don't think we would fight if my jealously didn't take the best of me. He always reminds me why he is with me and he wouldn't say the things he did if he didn't mean it which brings me back to not worrying because when he gets back he will still be with me. He asked me what he was doing wrong the other day and honestly i couldn't think of one thing wrong besides when he lied to protect me but we solved that and since he hasn't done a thing ill take little or even the tiniest thing and make it a bad thing because i'm scared. Yes i have went through a lot which people my age shouldn't have to go through but that shouldn't always be my excuse. The last night i had with him showed me a lot and how much i could trust him and how much he means what he says . Of course i am not going to blog those things but they truly ment the world to me and i should of said it to him that night but now it's kinda late. I will have to wait until i can see him. But to be honest after i post on this blog i always seem to have a smile knowing i said this to someone even if it isn't anyone i know so it's not bottled in side me.
Really can't wait to see him . and if anyone has read yesterdays blog about the issue i have and have some advice it would help a lot thanks !
Sorry for rambling on
-the one who cares
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